There was a time when I didn’t swear very much. Instead, I had a good vocabulary and knew how to use it.  I looked at those people who curse as easily as breathing, and thought they were not only mentally lazy but seriously limiting themselves. Really, if you drop the f-bomb 3 times in every sentence, where do you go when you really need to let people know how pissed you are? My dad rarely said damn or hell around us; I remember clearly the shock I felt the first time I heard him say fuck (this was followed quickly by fear as I was the one who had made him that angry).

Then I started playing poker. Swearing like a sailor soon ensued.

While my cursing is not as easy or thoughtless as breathing, it is still lazy and limiting. And unprofessional. I’ve gotten a little too comfortable with it in the classroom which led to the eventual creation of the Fluffy Pink Bunny Fund (1) in last year’s grade 12 programming class.

It needs to stop. I am bad with quitting anything cold turkey, so I am going to make a concerted effort to wean myself off the habit by first substituting other words for it. Not the Ned Flanders namby-pamby ones though – those will never work for me.

I am turning to words brought to me by TV. Words like frack (2), goram (3), shazbot (4), and dagnabbit (5) mixed in with supercalifragalisticexpialidocious (6) and oh, bother (7).

Note: this is primarily for school. There will still be swearing here. What, did you think I was going to quit cussin’ completely? I’d likely asplode.


  1. Fluffy Pink Bunny Fund sounds better than Swear Jar, don’t you think? Innocuous even. I am not proud of the fact that there was enough in it at the end of year to take the 5 students out for lunch. In my defense, it was not a good year for technology doing what it’s supposed to!
  2. Battlestar Galactica
  3. Firefly
  4. Mork & Mindy
  5. Elmer Fudd, The Bugs Bunny & Road Runner Show
  6. Mary Poppins
  7. Winnie the Pooh


4 Replies to “cussin’”

  1. One of the funniest I heard at a poker table was someone yelling, “Mother Father!” It works especially well if you delay a split second on the F in Father. Try it outloud.


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