insomnia?

Oh look, I’m awake at 3 am.

Again.

I wish I knew how to stop this. It’s been over a month of waking up at 2:30 or so and being unable to get back to sleep until 5. This make for a groggy kitty when the alarm goes off at 6:30.

I’ve tried exercise and no exercise. Baths (with aromatherapy and without) and no bath. Sleeping with earplugs and without. With BOB and without. With alcohol and without. Reading before bed. Knitting before bed. Writing before bed. No computer. No chocolate.

All have the same result. – me glancing at the clock at 3 am, hoping that soon I’ll find the magic combination of daydream and position that will let me fall back asleep rather than spending the next two or three hours tossing and turning and having imaginary conversations in my head with people I just know are fast asleep themselves.

And yes, I’ve tried sleeping pills. I took them for three nights hoping to restore my sleep pattern. Yes, I slept through the night but had disturbing dreams that coloured my days even more than the lack of sleep did. Not sure if I should get more from my doctor or not. Definitely a visit is in order.

I am not liking it, this lack of rest. I don’t feel like myself. I don’t smile as easily. I’m having difficulties reining in my propensity to think too much. My emotions are running a tad too close to the surface and I am totally sweating the small stuff. Little comments cut deeply. Exhaustion has stripped from me the ability to not care about shit that I don’t need or even want to care about. I find myself wanting to pull everything, even the people and events at the peripheries, close to me so I can pore over them like a shaman reading the portents and look for patterns that aren’t there.

What has triggered it? Another present from the hormone rollercoaster called perimenopause? Probably. Stress? Definitely a factor. I have some plans in the works, both work and personal, that will likely go just as planned but there is always the risk that something could blow up and leave me worse off than before.

#%@&!

I really just want to sleep.

5 Replies to “insomnia?”

  1. I guess there’s the obvious question that I’m sure your doctor asked: What’s your caffeine intake like?

    Afternoon coffee? Evening tea? Chocolate? 5 Hour Energy just before tucking in? 🙂

    Hope you beat the insomnia soon. But if you don’t, hey, no jet lag in Australia!

    *whistles Always Look on the Bright Side of Life*

  2. Oh, there will be jet lag. But it won’t be that bad coming here, it will however be the sixth circle of hell when K&K return from down under. I average a week of not knowing my name due to jet lag.

  3. Your not alone. Happens to me. It started for me when my Dad was sick and getting treatments in 2010. In 2011 it did not happen so much but I still would wake up at around 3AM for a couple hours. Its pretty random but it still does happen. Annoys the crap out of me when I lay there for 2 hours!! I tried pretty much everything you did including a new bed.

  4. I doubt that I have the magic answer to your sleeping troubles, but let me offer a few suggestions:

    (1) Get a sleep mask. When you wake up in the middle of the night, do not look at the clock. Put on the mask and just lie there. I find that when I see my alarm clock in the middle of the night, my mind fixates on the time and how much sleep I am missing, which just compounds the problem.

    (2) Exercise. It’ll hopefully tire you out.

    (3) Change your circadium rhythm. This is probably the hardest and may not be doable, since you teach. The actual sleep cycle is 25 hours, not 24, so it is easier to stay up an hour later than fall asleep an hour earlier…so, stay up later! Hopefully, this will force your circadium rhythm to allow you to sleep later. Technically, I would recommend moving your sleep an hour back every day until you are satisfied with your new sleep cycle, but I know that is often impossible.

    1. Jordan, good idea on the sleep mask – I have one from our trip to the land of the midnight sun a few years ago. Funnily enough, the sleep issues began about the time I started exercising daily.

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