I went on Twitter on the weekend. I was curious.
(No, I didn’t recreate my account. I cruised through a few friends’ feeds.)
Such a bad idea. Four days later and I can only now feel my anxiety start to let go. The hamster wheel in my head has been spinning over people calling one of our beers awful (it’s not. It’s just not for them), over missing friendly get togethers with other friends who have been radio silent since I moved (not really friends then, are they?), over the perception among my peers of this company I brew for and the beer I make, over the fact that I appear to be unliked and unlikeable.
It’s all bullshit though. There is a voice in my head that is a liar and and here I am giving it ammunition.
The last few months on the anxiety medications and off Facebook and Twitter have shown me that I can be happy. Happier. It’s a good feeling. I like it. Why would I jeopardize that for curiosity?
Note to self: don’t be so dumb.